Pettifogging

I finally get to start the more substantial phase of my current life tune-up tomorrow. My archaeology course begins tomorrow night. It was meant to start last week, which conflicted with a concert that my wife and I had bought tickets for back in December. I was feeling quite down about having to choose between that or the course, then I received and email stating the course start had to be pushed back a week. Kismet! Also, on Wednesday my wife and I start our pottery course.

It’s wonderful to finally be at the real starting point of my personal reboot. I’ve fallen shy of the mark over the last fe weeks while I have been getting our flat in order for a visit from my parents who I haven’t seem since I left the States two years ago. I’ve practiced a minimal amount of banjo and taught myself a new way to tie my shoes, but otherwise I’ve vegged out during my free time.

Here’s to whatever tomorrow may bring!

I’ve been busy for the past week.  I haven’t made much progress on the goals of learning or in using my time more wisely though.  Instead, I’ve spent my time letting go.

When my wife and I moved to Scotland, we had a house full of stuff as most people living in America do.  We pared this down to what we thought were the bare essentials and once established here we had them shipped to us.  The boxes filled a room and we realised that we had too much.  The shock of unpacking these boxes and asking ourselves why we kept this or that was stunning.

We pared down and then packed away again.  We reviewed at some point between then and now and pared again.  Last weekend we picked up our stuff from my father-in-law’s to move it into our new flat.  When I arrived at his house and saw how much was left, it was just like before: “What the hell is all of this?”

So this Sunday we pared away for the forth time.  We’re getting rid of at least a quarter of what we have after the previous three cullings, and you know what?  It gets easier and easier and feels better every time.  

Not only do I free up space, I also feel less interested in acquiring things.  The me of today is so far removed from the me of three years ago that I’m extremely curious what the me of three years from now will be like.

My progress this week has been small but in a positive direction.  

The most difficult thing to accept at this point is that until my archaeology course starts in a few weeks I will be in something sort of a holding pattern.  I can do little things, and have, but the more “intense” phase won’t begin until then.

That said, tonight I signed both myself and my wife up for pottery classes, starting on the 26th of April.  It’s something we have both wanted to try for the longest time and it finally gives us an activity to share with each other.  I am almost as excited for this as I am for the archaeology course.

Last night I made some progress with my banjo and this evening my wife and I had a nice stroll in a nearby park.  Yesterday we visited Rosslyn Chapel and had a walk in the park there as well.  Can’t complain about that at all.

When in the flat, I’ve taken to listening to French Radio London.  It helps to jiggle my brain a bit and loosen some of the old high school French that resides in some of the nooks and crannies of my mind.  I certainly couldn’t speak the language, but my comprehension is at least reawakening slightly.

To otherwise fill my time I have been mostly reading.  The Internet is still the bane of my existence but, until I become more focused and have other activities to fill my time I will struggle with falling back into the same old patterns.

So, what now? The statement I wrote yesterday is meaningless without a plan or hint of plan behind it.  

To start, I must find better use of my time than the Internet.  I am prone to hours upon hours of surfing, time which could be more productively spent.  I will not go as far as stating any time limits for my Internet usage… hard limits lead to worse feelings of failure when broken than mindfulness of time wasted.  I already realise this obstacle to my success and plan to address it in periodic updates.  Overuse, which will encroach upon the other activities I will be pursuing, will be obvious enough when I post here.

My existing downtime and recaptured time from lessened Internet usage should be spent in positive activity.  Reading is already something I devote a good portion of time to, so it goes without saying more time will be spent there.

I have already signed up for a teaser course in archaeology, though it will not start for another month.  This is a field I actually hope to return to school for in the next year or two, so this will both tide me over and prepare me for the future.

I have also catalogued other learning opportunities available to me here in Edinburgh.  As time and money permit, I hope to learn, either via lessons or on my own:

• a new language (French or German)
• the banjo
• fencing
• how to ride a motorcycle
• canoeing
• meditation
• how to sketch
• how to make stained glass
• pottery
• sushi making

In addition to those goals, I hope to pick up other minor skills and/or talents.  I wasted the better part of the last two years, during which I was underemployed with plenty of time and only learned one thing, juggling, and even then only at a very novice level due to devoting very little time to practice.  Knitting would be interesting, as would origami.

On a larger scale, aside from returning to school I feel I would like to write a book, though a possible subject eludes me.  I’d like to travel, to do away with even more useless junk and possessions in my life (as I’ve already made much headway into that), to volunteer and to break out of my cycle of inaction.  

I need to eat better and do more physical activity.  The latter is more difficult given the lingering injuries sustained in my car accident four years ago.  I must find activity that is suitably low-impact on my shoulders and back yet helps keep me in shape.

All that stands in my way is myself and the inertia I have built up by becoming so sedentary.

I named my blog “Pettifogging” because the word means “focusing on the petty or trivial” and, well, that seems to be what I do whenever I post. I need to change that.

I feel this desire to do something creative but have lack of both ideas and drive to act upon it. This will soon drive me mad. I need to get my act together and make some headway toward giving my life meaning and purpose. It’s time to create, to learn and to spend time on quality activity instead of passive activity.  

Therefore, I’m wrangling this blog out of being merely a stream of pics and video.  Instead, I hope to document my path toward using my time productively and positively.  I hope to outline projects, exhibit their outcomes, muse on topics and share those things that inspire me to better myself.  And if I occasionally find something that makes me smile, hey… there’s nothing wrong with passing that along too.

Why even bother blogging the process?  To keep me honest, to help keep my focus and hopefully to inspire maybe one other person to do the same.

Nothing groundbreaking, I know, but I need this.  I can spend my life feeling like I’ll never make headway and die having lived an unfinished life or I can finally make my stand and turn this around.