Pettifogging

As I slowly work toward our eventual return to the US, I’m getting more frustrated with some of the minor stupidities I encounter daily.  Here’s a few examples:

Timed Heating: Our heat in the cottage is not hooked to any form of thermostat.  Instead there’s a timer which allows you to decide when the boiler and radiators run.  You can control the temperature that the boiler heats the water to and the level of each radiator (on a scale of one to five).  What you can’t do is set a temperature and have the house stay at it.  It’s such an inefficient way of keeping a house heated in the winter; you’re constantly having to monitor the upcoming forecast and adjust when the system runs as well as what temp the boiler should heat the water to.  I know there are thermostats in other houses here, but how does this system even exist in 2010?

Dual Tap Sinks: Every bathroom sink I have encountered in this country has separate taps for the hot and cold water, one on each side of the back of the basin.  Your choice of running water is either ice cold or boiling hot or to cup your hands, fill up with cold, then top them up with hot, lather, rinse, repeat.  There is no way to have a mix of water come out of a single tap; if you want that, your only choice is to fill the basin.  Very useless for a quick washing of your hands.  What’s funny is that in the kitchen most places have a single tap setup, so why not in the bathroom?

Ineffectual Detergents: I have NEVER had as many stains in my clothes than I have since living here.  No matter how I wash them, it seems the detergent is completely unable to actually wash the clothes and get dirt out of them.  I’ve tried brand after brand without a single step in fighting them.  In fact, it seems all I can do here is lock the stains in.

This complaint also goes for dishwashing liquid. It seems to be a pipe dream to think of having clean, grease-free dishes.  Some dishes have been washed multiple times and still have a thin oily layer on them.  There’s not much selection of dishwashing liquid here, so we’ve tried it all to no avail.  Even soaking in scalding soapy water makes little difference.  No wonder the British don’t rinse off their dishes when cleaning them.  It’s not like the soap is stronger than the water anyway.

Tiny Washers and Dryers: One day’s worth of clothes for me and my wife is just about equal to what the washer and dryer can hold.  I’m almost lucky to be underemployed at the moment because it gives me time to get all the wash done given how many loads I have to do to get through the pile of dirties.  Even worse is that unless I specifically select the “Time Saver” option, the washer takes about two hours to do its tiny load.  In light of the previous complaint in this ranting post, you have to wonder just what the point is.  Not like anything’s getting cleaned anywhere near spotless.

Ice: The Brits have no concept of a cold drink.  Most ice cube trays you find here make the tiniest ice you can imagine, just about the size of a piece of Hubba Bubba gum.  Don’t expect any ice if you go to a fast food joint either.  At most you’ll have one to two pieces.  I guess the locals feel you’re ripping them off by filling the drink with ice instead of drink, but I’d much rather have it to be refreshingly cold than lukewarm.

Tied in to the previous post, here’s two lists that my wife and I have put together about what we miss about America and what we would miss about Scotland.  Some of this is specific to my home state of Kentucky.  Lists are not in any particular order, nor have they been proofread.

America

1. Waffle House
2. Sam’s
3. Sugano
4. Cracker Barrel
5. Target
6. L.L. Bean
7. Whole Foods, Good Foods
8. Friends
9. Family
10. Halloween
11. Family gatherings
12. Southern culture
13. Mammoth Cave
14. Shaker Village
15. Libraries with DVDs
16. Porches
17. Summer evenings with insects and lightening bugs
18. Cardinals
19. I can return to teaching
20. Better roads and traffic
21. Keeneland
22. Tractor Supply
23. Opportunity
24. KY Horse Park
25. Horse Farms
26. I can vote
27. Health care, once acquired, has few waiting lists for non-critical procedures
28. Irish Rover
29. Easier to own a home
30. With a private school, probably better to raise a kid
31. Easier for both to get work, based on experience
32. I can return to my customizing hobby more easily
33. Warmer people in general
34. No eternal darkness during the winter
35. Joseph-Beth
36. Hippie second-hand bookstores
37. I can go to Joe con things with friends
38. No health & safety bs
39. Dia de los Muertos
40. The West
41. Warmer weather

Scotland

1. Castles
2. Compacted history
3. Family
4. Fish & chips
5. The sea
6. Mainland Europe plus Ireland
7. Free health care
8. A wide range of landscapes within small driving area (mountains, sea)
9. Wonderful trekking
10. No trespass laws/free access to the countryside
11. All horses around here are ridden english style
12. Wife can vote
13. Walking in towns to get to a shop rather than driving everywhere.
14. Main roads are not as intimidating as in America
15. Easy access to fresh fish.
16. No HFCS
17. Better vacation benefits (in general)
18. No tornadoes
19. Easy to buy fresh fish (straight from harbour)
20. Train rides
21. Real pubs
22. Edinburgh Festival
23. Olympia and Horse of the Year Show

I figure my one hundredth post should be somthing with meat on its bones, so I hope this will provide material for a modest gnawing.

Two years ago my wife and I decided to move overseas to her homeland of Scotland.  The decision came at a time when we were both feeling unfulfilled in our jobs and life.  We needed a change… adventure… something new.  As she had been married to me and living in America for nine years time, it was only fair that we reverse the roles.  Two years ago… yet regardless of the struggles along the way, it feels like only yesterday.

A year was spent unencumbering ourselves of those things that people collect during their lives.  The house, the cars, all the possessions that go along with living on your own.  All the extras that are nice to have when you’re settled but become a burden when making such a major move.  All the items that you know you can replace when you get settled again or that you know you’ll have to replace because they won’t work when you get to the new country.  All these things were slowly but steadily parted with over a year’s time.  We stayed with my parents once the house was gone.  Stressful is a mere shadow of the word needed to describe the times.

Other preparations were made.  My visa application was completed and sent away. Shipping for that which we kept. Transportation of the pets.  Resignations from jobs held for years. All was put in order.  My visa was approved one year after our making our decision.  One year in the past from now.  Our flight was booked and we arrived in Scotland on February 28th, 2009.

We knew things would be difficult to start out again.  We stayed with my father-in-law until one of us was succesful in finding work.  It was my wife who won that race.  This gave us our first freedom in almost a year of living in transition.  I was hired into a part-time position at the tourist attraction where we volunteered on first arriving.  Nothing paying much but enough to help out a little while I continued looking for a permanent job.

Little did we know that I would still be searching even today.  I sent off my first job application on December 18, 2008… a mere six days after my last day of work in the US.  Applications flowed from our residence.  My first interview did not occur until November of 2009.  A month away from having a year in country behind me and still nothing.  Still no sign of permanent employment.  I have another interview in a week, but it is only for a year-long position.

I have to pay the British government £820 to have my visa made permanent or else it shall expire in April of 2011.  However, to secure a job I would likely need to do so around summer of this year, lest employers be scared off by the prospect of an employee that would be unemployable just a few months into their job.  It is a catch-22.  Do we pay this money, draining a large portion of our savings, so I can stay in a country that finds me, a person with 10 years’ experience of web development plus 7 years’ experience of teaching at collegiate level, unemployable?

It is thus that we are at the point where it is likely time to return to America.  If in June I have no permanent work, it will be time to make the move again.  A year and a half of looking for employment and not finding it is a situation that can’t be allowed to build upon itself.

That said, even if I were to secure a job at this upcoming interview, the writing appears to be on the wall that our exit from Scotland will still occur.  There’s something missing here that America, with all its faults… its Teabaggers, healthcare issues, consumerism… still provides.  We miss the hopefulness, the positive outlook, the warm interaction, even with strangers.  These things aren’t entirely lacking here, but they seem to be something that is hidden away in a few special people while the rest live in a darkness… a cynicism… a deafeatist nature that neither I or my wife can put up with for much longer.

No regrets, just new lessons learned.  I may return home with less than ever before but I will have new experience to draw from and the pride of knowing we gave it our all.  I will have lived abroad and few of my countrymen will ever know that pleasure, no matter how disappointed I may be in its not going off as we imagined it would.

Interviews, the only place where people ask you questions and pretty much expect you to try to weave the answer that’s closest to being bullshit without obviously going across the line.  I’m sure you’ve been there, sitting in your best suit, looking across at someone asking you what colour you consider yourself and how you would contribute to the rainbow of their existing office, all while suppressing the urge to lunge across the table to strangle them.

Let’s look at these questions and provide the actual answers to them:

Why do you want to work here?

Because I’m currently unemployed (or hate my existing job) and would like to make (more) money.  No, it’s not because I think your company is the corporate version of Mother Teresa or would allow me to become a child again through the magic of working for you.  It is simply because in our society I need money to live and you are providing me the chance to trade my time for that commodity.

What would you like to be doing five years from now?

Not living on the street?  What I’d like to be doing is sitting at home living off vast wealth (hell, I’d like to be doing that right now) but we both know that’s not going to happen.

What is your greatest strength?

That I have not given you a true answer to any of your questions yet you’re likely pleased with my by the book answers?  That I can formulate bullshit on the fly?

What is your greatest weakness?

That I hate you and the person who first came up with these questions,  yet I can’t think of a way to off you without getting caught.

What are you looking for in your next job?

A steady paycheck.  No, nothing else.  I’m not stupid enough to look for personal fulfillment from my employment.  It’d be nice if that were to happen, but it’d also be nice to be home living off my vast wealth (to refer you back to the previous question).

What kind of salary are you worth?

£∞.00